It seems with only 15 more weeks to go in this pregnancy, I'm starting to see things in a different light now. We went to see my family in McAllen Tx and it was great to see them all but boy was it HOT and HUMID!!!! OMG I spent more time inside than outside, but Luke played with the kids the whole time kicking the ball, jumping around....yea to them he is the uncle that is a kid just like them. And though it was an enjoyable time spending it with the family I could not help but think that it seemed different to me. My nieces asked if I would bring the baby to visit and how much fun they were to have. To me my own nieces looked different I guess because all these years when I was single, newly married or TTC I saw myself as just their Aunt and to me they were the closest thing I would have, as far as having a child in my life...now all that changed. I'm still Aunt Ivonne BUT now rather than just sending them b-day cards and gifts and giving them advice I find myself imaging what the holidays will be like when we take our child to visit them...their cousin. I have 4 nieces and a nephew and the girls are so very curious, smart and take care of each other but I also see how they are with my nephew, who has special needs, and how much more delicate they are with him. And now with this little one my whole view of my immediate family changes in a way I never knew could. I worried at first if I'd be able to get pregnant, THEN if it would be a viable pregnancy, THEN if I could make it past the first trimester, THEN if I could pass the down syndrome test....seeing my family and interacting with them now gives me the courage to face whatever else may even come up.....if infertility has taught me anything it's taught me that nothing in life is certain. So far OLO (our little one) is right on target but I wonder if he/she may show some slow developments later on just as my nephew, notice how I say "wonder" it's odd to me to not "worry" about this when everyone that knows me describes me as a worrywort. I think seeing my family, seeing how happy and accepting they are of other tells me now matter what, all will be ok. I'm no longer just Aunt Ivonne, I'm more part of my family in a way I wasn't before, does that make sense?
I cant' believe it, I finally get to celebrate mother's day. I'll admit it's scary and I don't have a live baby in my arms but this Mother's day is different from other years that have come and gone, I have a live baby growing inside. I've started to feel our little one more now, he/she seems to be very active right as I get up till about noonish and then again in the evening until I go to bed. I still am in awe everytime I feel those pokes and feels like it moves a limb across my stomach tickling me. I love it all, the pokes even the jumping on my bladder...I've waited a long time to experience it all. I even am learning to relax and start to feel optimistic about have a baby shower in July. How optimisitc? well my friend,Irene, convinced me to register at both Babies R'US and Target.....how about that for starting to see the glass more than half full? I do have my days that are filled with anxiety but they seem to be balanced by hopeful days. I love my stretch marks that I'm getting and my "linea negra" on my belly. One thing I don't like is heartburn I get, luckily I've figured out what foods give me heartburn so I stay away from them. I think I can actually say I'm enjoying being pregnant FINALLY. I just wish I had a bigger belly but I still have my little bump to show. I'm a full figured girl to begin with so, that may explain why it just looks like I'm gaining weight but I don't care I get reassurance every time I get a kick, poke or what feels like a somersault. So far I've gained about 4lbs but I'm eating all the time but keeping up with my walking. I wish I knew if we were having a son or daughter so I can start calling it by it's name but I have to wait until the end of June to see if my dr can squeezw another ultrasound in and check the gender. I've included 2 pictures of my ultrasound; the first one is profile and the second one is of the feet. It seems our little one has inherited Daddy's toes. I had to take a picture with my camera since I don't have a scanner, maybe with the stimulus checks we're getting I can invest in a good one.
Sometime about 3 weeks ago I started noticing cramps and soreness. I was alarmed at first because this being the farthest I've ever been pregnant I thought "oh no miscarriage". This however my dear readers is actually round ligament pain. I'm not sure why the say in all the books I've read "you will experience slight discomfort in your abdominal area due to the ligaments stretching" ..... yea right more like cramps you get right before you period! Taking Tylenol.......doesn't help, but resting does. Now that would be find and dandy but Mon-Fri between the hours of 8-5 I have to work. So I'm wondering, what in the world can I do? Any suggestions anyone? I've tried stretching and that helps but not for long. I know this whole stretching is necessary for the baby to grow but my gosh I feel helpless in managing the pain! Oh and if that were not enough, it seems congestion has taken permanent residency in my nasal cavities. So I'm forever either blowing my nose or sneezing. I've had to resort to carrying a bigger purse since I have to carry a box of kleenex! Yes I've tried the OT allergy meds that are safe for pregnancy but they only work for 1 1/2 hrs then I'm back to square one. But I keep telling myself it's only temporary and I can deal. On the bright side of things our neighbor gave us a crib that her son and daughter-in-law are no longer using and it was free! It's a convertible crib and it actually matches the dresser I was thinking of using for the nursery so that's a bonus! We're so very amazed that we've been blessed with people that are great neighbors and helping us out with a crib, we were dreading having to spend so much for a crib so now we can look forward to using that money towards decorating the nursery and such. I can't believe all of this is finally happening to us, I feel like it's a all a dream and this is happening to someone else. Truly I can say, I can finally start to remember what it was to feel happy again.
