well this sucks

I just got an email from one of the ladies that goes to RESOLVE and she's just had her 3rd loss. She's been updating all of us and when she got the news that she'll have to have an D&C again well I thought it would be better if I just called to tell her hey she's not alone in her sorrow cause I know what it means to be in those shoes to get a positive and get your hopes and BAM it's ripped from you. So I call her and ......she answers, I tell her "hey H it's me ivonne..." then it sounded like she just said something and HUNG UP. Ok yes I get it if she does not want to talk to anyone right now and it's very hard but I figured sending her an email would be too impersonal and maybe she may appreciate a phone call since we've been talking @ the meetings and we met up once and she keeps bringing up the fact that we should get together again. DH says don't take to heart but ......... typical me fashion....I am hurt. I ended up emailing her and telling her sorry for her loss and how I didn't want to email her but wanted to tell her via phone how hurt I am for her loss and sorry I bothered her. I will be ok by the end of the day but still I'm just like........ok that was really odd and I would have been perfectly fine with her saying "hey it's not a good time right now" instead of getting hung up on and H if you do read this post, I'm not doing it to offend you since it's hard enough what you are going through anyways I just thought it maybe a little less impersonal that I call you and let you know you " hey this sucks I'm so sorry for you loss, I was really really hoping for you this time." I"ve said it before in other posts that for those fellow infertile I've met that there are some that I REALLY REALLY do get happy with whenever they get BFP and I look forward to hearing from them you know? But when the BFP turns into a miscarriage I cry for them because it's not fair that they were THERE and it gets ripped from them. WHY? Now for those people that get pregnant no complications....hey I am not as overjoyed. One thing I have learned is that being infertile bands you together within a group, granted it's not one you choose to be in but it bands you together non the less with other IF'ers. So I close with this............H I don't' mean to offend you and much less didn't mean to bother you. I am truly sorry for you loss and even though you may feel angry at the world I'm sending you ((hugs)). I hope you can find the strength to not give up your dream just yet and I will continue to root for you to become the mother you so deserve.

The drama continues.....

I was doing better but THAN a couple of days ago DH was telling me about SIL (grrr) and how she's SO sick from nauseausness......and I just gave him this look. And then he says "you know they've been trying to get pregnant since last Nov. and just got pregnant now" my response? "ok, but I still can't forget her comment, and that makes it even worse since she was struggling to get pregnant WTF to say such a thing to another person whose struggling too" you all remember which one right? "i doubt it's gonna happen to you" about me getting pregnant....my husband's response? SILENCE. yup .....it's like our conversation last time about how much her comment hurt me and how he was gonna promise to stand for me went in one ear and out the other. OH so last night DH tells me again how SIL is complaining about nausea and can't eat anything but pickles....blah blah blah. and I finally tell him "don't talk to me about SIL or her pregnancy for while ok? cause it's not so much the pregnancy that bothers me but I really can't forget the comment she made." he tells me "oh I could tell her comment has bothered you for a while...." yet he has not brought it up to her!!!! WTF! he then tells me "I told her to prepare to have 2 pregnant women in the family" and that she said "oh really? that would be great I pray pray that it;ll happen to you two" I just have one word for that....Fakeness. Ok enough of my venting and bitching....I WANT to be over these feelings, I WANT to be my old self really I do but I CAN'T stop thinking about her fakeness. well enough of me...how are all of you? I bet doing MUCH MUCH better than me.