growing pains......

Sometime about 3 weeks ago I started noticing cramps and soreness. I was alarmed at first because this being the farthest I've ever been pregnant I thought "oh no miscarriage". This however my dear readers is actually round ligament pain. I'm not sure why the say in all the books I've read "you will experience slight discomfort in your abdominal area due to the ligaments stretching" ..... yea right more like cramps you get right before you period! Taking Tylenol.......doesn't help, but resting does. Now that would be find and dandy but Mon-Fri between the hours of 8-5 I have to work. So I'm wondering, what in the world can I do? Any suggestions anyone? I've tried stretching and that helps but not for long. I know this whole stretching is necessary for the baby to grow but my gosh I feel helpless in managing the pain! Oh and if that were not enough, it seems congestion has taken permanent residency in my nasal cavities. So I'm forever either blowing my nose or sneezing. I've had to resort to carrying a bigger purse since I have to carry a box of kleenex! Yes I've tried the OT allergy meds that are safe for pregnancy but they only work for 1 1/2 hrs then I'm back to square one. But I keep telling myself it's only temporary and I can deal. On the bright side of things our neighbor gave us a crib that her son and daughter-in-law are no longer using and it was free! It's a convertible crib and it actually matches the dresser I was thinking of using for the nursery so that's a bonus! We're so very amazed that we've been blessed with people that are great neighbors and helping us out with a crib, we were dreading having to spend so much for a crib so now we can look forward to using that money towards decorating the nursery and such. I can't believe all of this is finally happening to us, I feel like it's a all a dream and this is happening to someone else. Truly I can say, I can finally start to remember what it was to feel happy again.

The big double 3......

Sorry I've been MIA but nothing much has been going on until today.........Happy Birthday to me! I'm sure I don't have to mention how extra special this day is for me. I can't tell you how many birthdays after my last loss that I wished I'd be either pregnant by next birthday OR have a baby in my arms. Well, one of those wishes has come true and let me tell you it's surreal and awesome! So far today I've had a low key bday with friends for breakfast, went to IKEA and worked on getting a vegetable garden ready to be planted. All in all even if I'd done absoultely nothing the fact that I'm pregnant this birthday has made this the best birthday ever. Last week we had our 15 week checkup and all looks right on target, the baby's heartbeat was 148 beats a min and as for weight gain........well I've had none. Now I was a bit concerned being that I'm eating alot more these days but my dr said it was fine and some women gain it towards the end of the 2nd trimester or at the 3rd trimester. Now me being a big girl to begin with I am watching what I eat but I do indulge now and then. I'm debating whether to post a picture of my tiny bump only because I'm afraid others may not notice it, I mean DH and I notice it but it's only because we what I looked like before. So we shall see if I have the nerve to do so or not. I've also bought another baby purchase........a pregnancy pillow. I actually got it as an early birthday gift from me to me. It helps to insure I don't sleep on my back ( which I tend to do) and the plus side is that it really is comfortable. I'm still waiting on feeling the first movements from this little one but I may not feel anything till another couple of weeks. And something else that is happening in the next couple of weeks is that on April 24 will be when we find out if we're having a girl or boy. I want to post pictures of the sonogram but first have to see if I can borrow someone's scanner. Part of me wants a girl only because I've seen so many cute things that are out there for little girls but really I'd be ok with a boy. Really should it even matter? I mean with all we've been through and just longing to be a mom and FINALLY having it happen, either gender would be ok with us. It seems this year I will have to make a different birthday wish............

I've included a picture of my pregnancy pillow with one of my dogs who obviously approves of it...and one of my vegetable garden to be.

13 and change............

I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I'd get this far if I ever became pregnant. Wait, who am I kidding, I NEVER thought I'd ever get pregnant. Personally I feel as if I'm almost about to cross a milestone. I'm not a runner but I guess if I were it would probably feel as if I'm maybe a 1/3 of the way to the finish line. Of coarse along the way I've had my aches and discomforts, emphasis on the discomforts. I went in to see my dr today only because for the past 3 days I've been having lower abdominal cramping and a lower backache, and taking Tylenol was not doing anything about it. I became worried when by today it would not go away so I went in and was tested for another UTI, got to hear the heartbeat (score!) and well the prognosis...........round ligament pain. I gotta say I did feel foolish but both the dr and nurse were so very nice and said better safe than sorry. Unfortunately no amount of Tylenol will make it go away either, it's just a what happens as the baby gets bigger and my uterus starts stretching. So I think what I may start doing to at least alleviate the backache is look into some exercises to help strengthen my back while I am pregnant. I wanted to look into Yoga but I'm a chicken about going alone, it would be nice if I had a buddy to go with especially since I've never done Yoga in my life. Oh well maybe I'll get over my fear and eventually venture out on my own. I'm excited about this weekend because we're having a garage sale and even though my hubby is a major pack rat I'm getting rid of items that are still stored in boxes when we moved into this house, that was almost 2 yrs ago! I'm hoping we make a nice amount of cash since we've decided it'll go into our baby fund. Wow that's just so very amazing to me. Even though now that I'm planning for this baby by saving money, being more careful with my sick/vac time at work and starting to look for bigger pants I can't forget how I started out and still consider myself........ an infertile. I can't help it's a part of me, yes we got pregnant naturally but we still needed help. I mean I feel deep down inside that acupuncture and the herbs I took helped me to achieve this miracle and had I not gone that route I would not be sitting here in awe of 13 weeks. So you see, I am and will always be an infertile. A fellow blogger once wrote while she was pregnant that she was a pregnant infertile, and I completely agree. I don't think you can ever forget the pain and anguish you go through when you TTC, those battle scars may heal superficially but stay tender to the touch inside of you. I guess how I see my 13 weeks is this way, I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my first trimester but I don't feel like I'm on safe ground yet and even if god willing I make it to the finish line with a healthy baby to take home, my scars will still be there deep down inside even if the world can't see them.

Great ending to a rough week

This past week really was not the best for me, it started off with me having a cold that got worse as the week progressed. Not only was I miserable I had to call into work which in turn will eat up some of my time I have been planning on using for maternity leave, but I was too sick to even get out of bed so it was a necessary evil. The highlight of my week was Thursday, my OB appt. We heard the most beautiful sound ever............our baby's heartbeat. It was amazing to hear and it really hit home for me........this may very well end in a real life baby! It was strong and loud and my Dr said it was 168 beats/min which was right on target for how far along I am, that confirmation made my whole week. I gotta say it's really starting to become more real to me that we're going to be parents and now thankfully I can mark off my two goals I have set. I'm even starting to become less pessimistic and more optimistic about this pregnancy's survival, how about that? I even ventured out and bought a rocking chair at a garage sale........my first baby purchase. I love this little one more and more each day and can't wait for my next goals to cross off my list:
Keep growing little one
Have good results on my down syndrome test for next dr's appt.

I talk to our little one and it's cute to see how one of the dogs and one of the cats like to snuggle on my tummy.......hmmm can the sense this little life? I truly don't know but they seem to insist on being there when before they were not interested at all. I tell our little one he/she has a zoo to welcome him/her when we bring him/her home in September but until now the only contact he/she will have is either the purring or snoring that the cat or dog makes.

Goals...

My next OB appt is this coming Thursday and even though I'm trying my best..........I'm so very nervous. I had an episode about a week ago that scared me very much. I went to the bathroom and noticed some brown spotting on my underwear I called the 24 hr Nurse line and luckily got a nurse she'd asked if I'd done anything straneous and was I having any kind of cramping......uh no...but I did have to admit that DH and I had been "frisky" last night.....she said that sometimes spotting will happen because of that and it was no biggie but she'd have my nurse call me the next day.My nurse called the next day and repeated the same thing, but by then I was not spotting at all and I'd never had any cramping so I felt a bit relieved as well. So far as everything I shouldn't be worried right? I guess being that all I've gotten is bad news since my infertility it's only natural to expect bad news rather than good. I'm taking easy but everytime I got to the bathroom I'm almost expecting to see some spotting, I keep telling myself that it's going to be ok to keep me going till my next appointment. So now I'm a little more than 10 weeks just 3 more till I'm out of my 1st trimester, can't wait. Being the Type A person that I am, I've set "goals" for myself and so far I can cross out 3 of them.
1. Become Pregnant through IVF......ok that happened but not through IVF...check
2. Once pregnant, rule out ectopic.......got early blood work and HCG levels doubled accordingly and early ultrasound, saw sac and yolk.......check
3. See a heartbeat......check

My next goals?
4. Hear or see a good heartbeat
5. that the baby be right on target as far as growth or ahead.

I hope I can cross these two goals out as well, since this would mean to me that is one step closer to reaching our dream of bring a healthy baby home sometime in Sept.