Wednesday, March 12, 2008

13 and change............

I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I'd get this far if I ever became pregnant. Wait, who am I kidding, I NEVER thought I'd ever get pregnant. Personally I feel as if I'm almost about to cross a milestone. I'm not a runner but I guess if I were it would probably feel as if I'm maybe a 1/3 of the way to the finish line. Of coarse along the way I've had my aches and discomforts, emphasis on the discomforts. I went in to see my dr today only because for the past 3 days I've been having lower abdominal cramping and a lower backache, and taking Tylenol was not doing anything about it. I became worried when by today it would not go away so I went in and was tested for another UTI, got to hear the heartbeat (score!) and well the prognosis...........round ligament pain. I gotta say I did feel foolish but both the dr and nurse were so very nice and said better safe than sorry. Unfortunately no amount of Tylenol will make it go away either, it's just a what happens as the baby gets bigger and my uterus starts stretching. So I think what I may start doing to at least alleviate the backache is look into some exercises to help strengthen my back while I am pregnant. I wanted to look into Yoga but I'm a chicken about going alone, it would be nice if I had a buddy to go with especially since I've never done Yoga in my life. Oh well maybe I'll get over my fear and eventually venture out on my own. I'm excited about this weekend because we're having a garage sale and even though my hubby is a major pack rat I'm getting rid of items that are still stored in boxes when we moved into this house, that was almost 2 yrs ago! I'm hoping we make a nice amount of cash since we've decided it'll go into our baby fund. Wow that's just so very amazing to me. Even though now that I'm planning for this baby by saving money, being more careful with my sick/vac time at work and starting to look for bigger pants I can't forget how I started out and still consider myself........ an infertile. I can't help it's a part of me, yes we got pregnant naturally but we still needed help. I mean I feel deep down inside that acupuncture and the herbs I took helped me to achieve this miracle and had I not gone that route I would not be sitting here in awe of 13 weeks. So you see, I am and will always be an infertile. A fellow blogger once wrote while she was pregnant that she was a pregnant infertile, and I completely agree. I don't think you can ever forget the pain and anguish you go through when you TTC, those battle scars may heal superficially but stay tender to the touch inside of you. I guess how I see my 13 weeks is this way, I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my first trimester but I don't feel like I'm on safe ground yet and even if god willing I make it to the finish line with a healthy baby to take home, my scars will still be there deep down inside even if the world can't see them.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Great ending to a rough week

This past week really was not the best for me, it started off with me having a cold that got worse as the week progressed. Not only was I miserable I had to call into work which in turn will eat up some of my time I have been planning on using for maternity leave, but I was too sick to even get out of bed so it was a necessary evil. The highlight of my week was Thursday, my OB appt. We heard the most beautiful sound ever............our baby's heartbeat. It was amazing to hear and it really hit home for me........this may very well end in a real life baby! It was strong and loud and my Dr said it was 168 beats/min which was right on target for how far along I am, that confirmation made my whole week. I gotta say it's really starting to become more real to me that we're going to be parents and now thankfully I can mark off my two goals I have set. I'm even starting to become less pessimistic and more optimistic about this pregnancy's survival, how about that? I even ventured out and bought a rocking chair at a garage first baby purchase. I love this little one more and more each day and can't wait for my next goals to cross off my list:
Keep growing little one
Have good results on my down syndrome test for next dr's appt.

I talk to our little one and it's cute to see how one of the dogs and one of the cats like to snuggle on my tummy.......hmmm can the sense this little life? I truly don't know but they seem to insist on being there when before they were not interested at all. I tell our little one he/she has a zoo to welcome him/her when we bring him/her home in September but until now the only contact he/she will have is either the purring or snoring that the cat or dog makes.