Wednesday, March 12, 2008

13 and change............

I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I'd get this far if I ever became pregnant. Wait, who am I kidding, I NEVER thought I'd ever get pregnant. Personally I feel as if I'm almost about to cross a milestone. I'm not a runner but I guess if I were it would probably feel as if I'm maybe a 1/3 of the way to the finish line. Of coarse along the way I've had my aches and discomforts, emphasis on the discomforts. I went in to see my dr today only because for the past 3 days I've been having lower abdominal cramping and a lower backache, and taking Tylenol was not doing anything about it. I became worried when by today it would not go away so I went in and was tested for another UTI, got to hear the heartbeat (score!) and well the prognosis...........round ligament pain. I gotta say I did feel foolish but both the dr and nurse were so very nice and said better safe than sorry. Unfortunately no amount of Tylenol will make it go away either, it's just a what happens as the baby gets bigger and my uterus starts stretching. So I think what I may start doing to at least alleviate the backache is look into some exercises to help strengthen my back while I am pregnant. I wanted to look into Yoga but I'm a chicken about going alone, it would be nice if I had a buddy to go with especially since I've never done Yoga in my life. Oh well maybe I'll get over my fear and eventually venture out on my own. I'm excited about this weekend because we're having a garage sale and even though my hubby is a major pack rat I'm getting rid of items that are still stored in boxes when we moved into this house, that was almost 2 yrs ago! I'm hoping we make a nice amount of cash since we've decided it'll go into our baby fund. Wow that's just so very amazing to me. Even though now that I'm planning for this baby by saving money, being more careful with my sick/vac time at work and starting to look for bigger pants I can't forget how I started out and still consider myself........ an infertile. I can't help it's a part of me, yes we got pregnant naturally but we still needed help. I mean I feel deep down inside that acupuncture and the herbs I took helped me to achieve this miracle and had I not gone that route I would not be sitting here in awe of 13 weeks. So you see, I am and will always be an infertile. A fellow blogger once wrote while she was pregnant that she was a pregnant infertile, and I completely agree. I don't think you can ever forget the pain and anguish you go through when you TTC, those battle scars may heal superficially but stay tender to the touch inside of you. I guess how I see my 13 weeks is this way, I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my first trimester but I don't feel like I'm on safe ground yet and even if god willing I make it to the finish line with a healthy baby to take home, my scars will still be there deep down inside even if the world can't see them.

1 comment:

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

My IF scars definitely still define me. And I know how hard to believe that healthy hb and growing uterus = real, live baby in September. It's so hard to grasp, isn't it?

Congrats on making it to 13 weeks. AND for purchasing a baby item. Those are considerable accomplishments!!!