Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Learning to let go...little by little

Sofia has started daycare.........sigh.....yes it's been hard for me to allow someone other than myself or Luke to watch her. I've been very blessed I must say in that I was able to enjoy all to myself for about 9 weeks and then handed the reins over to her daddy who had her till she just last Monday for about 2 weeks. It did help the transition in that I didn't miss her as much when I went back to work because I knew she was with daddy but that first day I dropped her off in daycare it nearly broke my heart. I completely trust her sitter and I know she'll be taken care and all her needs will be met but what was tugging at my heart strings was that my poor baby woud miss me or her daddy. And my mother instinct was correct because she looked a little sad and the sitter kept going on and on how good a baby she was, that she gave her no fuss and just enjoyed looking out the window and sitting down and just looking at everyone. I know my child and when she is in a new place around new people she freezes up and is not the bubbly little baby I know who coos and gaas and smiles constantly. I trust the sitter gave her attention and she took good care of her but I know in my heart that she missed me and she's the type of baby who takes a little longer to warm up to new people. I know this not only cause I'm her mother but because I learned all her habits/personality while it was just me taking care of her. She takes after Daddy in that respect, he's slow to warm up to new people and situations/environments. At first he comes across as very shy, reserved but once he becomes comfortable watch out cause he's a chatter box and very open/friendly. Me on the other hand, I am more outgoing, quite the opposite, but I have learned how to introduce Luke to new people & I do the same for Sofia...except on her first day of daycare I couldn't stay w/her since I was running late for work. I know in my heart she'll be fine and she'll eventually come out of her shell and come around but a small part of me feels guilty for how she feels now and I wish she could understand that she's ok @ daycare and that I will always come back to pick her up. A good friend of mine told me to look at it this least sofia is only in daycare mon/tues and every other wed and on thursdays/fridays she gets Daddy time until I get home from work and on the weekends she gets both of us. After seeing it this way I feel a tad better but still it's hard to let go but it's something I have to learn to do....little by little.

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