Thursday, September 25, 2008

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At last............motherhood. I'm tired, elated, in awe of this wonderful miracle that I see sleeping in her crib while I write this post. I now understand fully what the other bloggers felt when they wrote how in awe they were to see their baby how it was surreal. Yes, I understand now fully because you see when I see this precious tiny person who not too long ago was growing inside me, and to think.........tommorrow she will be 3 weeks old! where does the time pass? Well let me recall what all has happened so far.
She was born Sept 5, 2008 @ 10:20am weighing in at 6lbs and 12 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I had been in labor since wednesday Sept. 3!!! I thought I just had braxton hick contractions but they were the REAL thing! I went to work that day as if nothing and by midday i came home and did not go into work the next day either since it being thursday it was my dr's appointment @ 3pm. well i get there and she checks me and sees I'm 100% effaced and at a station 0 but only dialted 3 cm she checks me into L/D. by 7pm that evening she broke my water and 2 hrs later I still had not dialted so I was given Pitocin.....OMG that is when the real pains began. I finally was in so much pain I got the epidural and was able to sleep for 3 hrs and dialated to 7 cm! after that i progressed much better and just pushing less than 15 mins she came out. Her cry was the most beautiful sound I ever have heard.................I was all tears and it was of joy and feeling as FINALLY here is this moment I've waited so long for is HERE thanking God for bringing us both through the labor/birth safe and sound and HEALTHY. I never really had an "idea" of what she would look like but when I finally saw her I was completely and utterly in love w/her...........she was PERFECT and the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I looked at Luke and he was just in amazement and thanking me over and over and saying he loved me and loved us and just in amazement. I look back at that moment now and think..........."wow did I really experience that?" it's hard for me now when I look at her to think " wow she's is daughter...........she belongs to US.....I grew her inside me!.....she's a part of me and Luke"
Now as for the present? well she's getting bigger, getting her little baby fat rolls on and each day I think God for her and pray that he keep her well, safe and happy all the days of her life. I want her to know she is so loved, and is/was so wanted by not only us, her parents, but others too. I want to be the best mom I can for her, what ever that means. I have a new role and a new path to take and each day now I take it one day at a time and cherish every coo, every cry whether it's because she's bored and wants to be carried, changed because she's soiled her diaper or is hungry...I cherish it all I think more than the average mom because I KNOW what this child means....what her presense in our life means...........a true blessing.

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