Friday, November 30, 2007

all things thankful- post thanksgiving....

OK so I'll start first off by saying the things I am thankful and then I'll finish this post with things I am not thankful for. so without further are my post thanksgiving list of thank you and thank you nots......
1. My husband who makes me laugh and tries to keep me optomistic about us having babies one day.
2. My job, yea the salary is ok and the work is steady so I'm able to splurge a little this holiday on gifts to loved ones.
3. My furry babies for the unconditional unbiased love, and non judgemental love. Enuf said.
4. My friends old and new that I have met @ Resolve and those I've known for a while.
5. My blog readers....I think I have some out there......I @ least hope so.
6. My family....miss them so much especially during the holidays.
that's pretty much it.

I'm not thankful.....
1. all the pregnant women out there including my bratty SIL, who by the way is due on DH bday....yea way to drive the knife in my heart after her doubtful comment about it never gonna happen to us.
2. The holidays, it reminds me that we lost a precious one last year and had he/she made it we'd be celebrating a first xmas and thanksgiving as a family....complete.
3. being childless...right now, having to wait to start a new IVF cycle in the new year when I feel like I"m wasting time waiting....
4. having to fill paper work to have our embryo moved to a cryo lab so it will not be disposed of for a future FET. yea it's a painful reminder of my failed IVF.
5. this infertility.....

ok well that's all for now...i wish I was my old self again...i can't for the life of me bring my self to be happy for SIL I CAN'T forget her commment....and what's worse it's beginning to affect my relationship w/dh.


CAM said...

The great thing is that you have things to be thankful for. The SIL being pg will hurt for a long time...actually probably until you are pg too. Its tough for our husbands to understand what it feels like for us - not only the infertility but losing a baby. We feel like our bodies have been violated in some way...and seeing pg women doesn't mean we are mad at them but its just a reminder of what we cannot do and it hurts. I would talk to him about how emotionally tough it is for you to watch her be pg - its a sadnes and longing for what you want for yourself.
Thanks so much for visiting my site and for your comments. We will probably be cycling close to one another next year. I think I'll be starting maybe February.
Stay positive...your time will come.

CAM said...

Thanks for the kind words on my site. It is a tough time and hard to get through the holidays right now. The SIL thing is a tough situation...but try to focus on things to do with just you and DH. Thats why we are taking a trip this year- we just want to focus on us and not on all the stressful things around us.