Thursday, February 7, 2008

that's just the kind of luck I have....NOT

So today I found out that SIL is having a boy. My reaction to this news.............devasted. Ok I could blame it on my wacky pregnancy hormones as to why I'm jealous, my culture that I wanted to be one to have the first boy, or I can just be very frank about why I'm upset about it. But before I go into that I'd like to say in my defense yes this makes me look like a bitch when I say I'm not happy she's having a boy that I wanted her to have a girl since she really really wanted a boy, but really I'm not a bitch I'm very nice just ask anyone really and normally I don't hold grudges unless you've hurt me to the core. Well that being said, I am holding a grudge towards her because of the comment she made late last year about she doubting we'd ever get pregnant on our own, I can't help it people that was an uncalled for bitchy ass remark and I am holding on to that grudge seriously dunno if I will ever let it go but right now I can't I just can't. So because of that comment I was really hoping she'd get a girl since when she was down here visiting she went on and on about how she wants a boy and that's all she wanted, so basically my jealously wanted her to NOT get what she wanted for.....once. So DH is ok with it and said and i quote " I don't see what the big deal is" . DH thinks and keeps telling me we're having a boy too, here's the thing people I was ok having a boy or a girl I really am I mean I prayed, sweated, did acupuncture and cried over even getting pregnant so I know what a miracle this baby is BUT part of me wanted to give his family the first grandson since DH is the first son of the first son I thought "hey that would be neat to have a boy..." so now I'm kinda hoping we have a girl only cause if we have a boy I know how she is and how his family is................they will compare. Yup there I said it, so if I have a girl she'll still be a "first" and SIL can't compare her boy to my girl. But with my luck I may end up having a boy but I tell ya what, I will not stand for any comparing. ahhh. this so sucks and has ruined my entire day. I just need to vent to someone so i think I'll call a friend of mine who I know will be sympathtic rather that try to talk to DH and get no where.

1 comment:

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I understand your anger at your SIL completely. I find it nearly impossible to get over insensitive remarks like that.

I agree that you should stand up for your child if he/she is faced with unfair comparisons from your family members. No doubt that will come easily to you since you will adore your baby. The ONE thing that is good about struggling to get pregnant is that we will never take parenthood for granted.